My To Do List from The Couch

whataracquet.com.au

I don’t know why it takes me so long to actually open up a page and write, my procrastination skills are limitless.

I now have plenty of distractions to keep me from putting words on paper screen:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Hotmail
• online shopping
• countless blogs to follow (which may be putting me off writing sometimes as I’m more entertained by what they say than anything I can say)
• commenting on countless blogs; and
• entering as many relevant giveaways as I can (I’ll win an iPad by hook or by crook, ‘cause there is no way that my Christmas wish will come true in the next 5-10 years according to Mr Moneymaker)

 

It’s not like I don’t have time now. I’m laid up on the couch most days waiting for the huge wound on my abdomen to heal. It seems they took out my stomach muscles (not that they were a major part of my physique before) along with my retired womb last week.

 

I have in front of me a To Do List while I’m in recovery. It includes:

• Organise Nugget’s party this Friday (95% done) 
• Make Mr Moneymaker’s 40th Birthday invitations (anyone with a flair for 70’s movies design?)
• Shop online for family and friends for Christmas
• Makeover plain and boring “Birdy Num Num” blog (first work out how to do this)
• Investigate how to actually use personal domain name that was bought 30th April 2011.

 [As I was making that last point I delved into emails to find the date I bought the domain name and got caught by the Distraction Devil again (maybe I should buy the groceries here, would save the Moneymaker some time) – and got notified of another virus to clean off! At least I found the bug planted into my Nugget’s folder – I knew it was from one of his games!]

ANYWAY!!!

 

I should be blogging about how this hysterectomy has made me feel 7 days on (well, relieved mostly!) and how useless I’m feeling this week while the Moneymaker has to do all the running around with the kids (school, soccer, shops, Miss Chicken’s busy social life). Next week I should be able to do some light housework (yay … not) and a some cooking (YAY for real – cannot handle sandwiches and takeaway much longer).

 

I rediscovered daytime TV and as long as there is Ellen (how cute/funny is that little English girl Sophia and her Hype girl, Rosie - watch this) and The Circle (Yumi actually read out my email and my name this morning – closest to fame I am likely to get), I can survive the other stuff (when are they going to realise the girl presenting the Aaaah Bra has the WORST Kiwi accent ever heard?).

Well, I’ve got till 28th November to get into finish that To Do List, so if you have any advice for me, please let me know! And homemade meals left at the door are always welcome ;)

The Night Before Uterus

I have officially started to panic, freak out, get anxious, touchy, snappy and emotional. I HATE THAT!

Tomorrow morning at around 8am I will be having my hysterectomy. I'll be in hospital till Saturday so I'll be in a no blog zone.

So this is a short post just to let you know that I'll be back, maybe in a few weeks. I've also got to post about my weekend with the whole clan, the first time we've been all together along with three cousins in a very long time. It was quite an enjoyable time even though we were putting our parents' ashes to rest. We farewelled them with a crazy drunken dancing party they would have been proud of.

Anyway will tell more with photos another time.

Let me know how you calm your nerves before something scary.

Juxtaposition in a Waiting Room

I found myself in an unsettling position today (no, that's not code or any other type of innuendo). I was waiting in my gynecologist's waiting room this morning about to book in for a pretty life changing operation (yes, have decided to go ahead with said hysterectomy as discussed in previous post) and I happened to be reading Mia Freedman's book "Mama Mia". I was at the most heartbreaking point in her story where she discovered she had lost her unborn child. I was struggling with how incredibly sad this was with the knowledge I was about to go ahead with a procedure which will make it absolutely impossible for me to ever have another baby. And even though there really wasn't any other way to get rid of those pesky and energy draining fibroids, I felt like I was voluntarily making myself infertile.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no desire to have another child (my third child has four legs, a tail and actually does what I tell him!), but I'm hesitant about giving up the option to have one. This physical ability makes me feel like I'm still on the wild side of ... 45? (Shit, I hate putting that number down, that's what makes me feel old.) If that goes, will I turn into a cranky old woman like my mum was after "the change"? OK, an even more cranky old woman.

Also, ironically, several years ago in a past life, in a past marriage, I had been convinced I was infertile. I had made the crazy decision that our dysfunctional union needed a child to really stuff it up and tried to get pregnant for almost 7 years. We then had tests (well I did, he may have, that's what he told me anyway), and after a laporoscopy that didn't uncover anything, the doctor announced we were "incompatible". Duh!

So I can't believe I'm about to remove this very functional organ. I know it's for the best but I also realise it will be the end of an era. And according to those that have been there and come through better for it (thanks for the advice and encouraging comments), it will be a wonderful and carefree stage in my life ... until men..o...pause.....

Useless Uterus

[What I would like mine to look like]


OK, that title is a little off. But it just popped into my head when I was trying to work out whether I should have the hysterectomy my new gyno just recommended.

Heavy, eh? Not sure if I should be sharing this but if you've got this far and not freaked out (bye bye any men reading, and teenage girls!), I will go on to explain.

For all of my life I have been blessed with obedient and discreet periods. They are on time (thanks to taking the pill), were light and not very painful. Even after two kids they sprung back to their normal monthly routine. Lovely! you say, good for you! But in the last 9 months I've discovered how alot of other women feel about them. They changed. They became heavy, very, very heavy and could last up to 10 days. Along with bloating and cramps I thought I was "having the change"! At 45 it's not unheard of but I was not happy about it. When they became so bad I had to run drive home from work to change, my husband suggested that maybe I should go ask the doctor if this was normal.

After the recommended ultrasound he showed me I had eight fibroids growing in my uterus and they had started to push out some of my organs! Eeeeewwwww! That would explain all the digestion problems I had been having. I was a little taken aback and freaked out that these things were growing away inside of me (a bit like when I discovered I was pregnant), but just thankful it wasn't anything more serious. He said I would probably need an operation and referred me to a specialist.

Many dollars later (and another little inspection), she said the best option was a hysterectomy. I didn't think that word would come up now, if ever, and it was a little shocking. I instantly thought "that's it, my youth is over, I'm about to become a dried up old woman"!

But the doctor said even though it was called a Total Hysterectomy, they didn't need to take the ovaries out so I would not go through menopause. Thank God! I wasn't ready for that yet. The thought of never having periods again or having to take the pill was pretty inviting though!

Now, the Moneymaker and I knew we didn't want anymore kids and he was due to have a vasectomy next year (I gave him till he turned 40), but I wasn't sure how I would change if I had this operation. I did a little googling and saw the usual sites dedicated to natural remedies and lifestyle changes but the one piece of information I was concerned about was the change to my "bits". Some health sites said that when the cervix is taken out a new "roof" was put in and also when the uterus is removed it could affect "enjoyment". I don't want to get specific (I am a lady after all - well here I pretend to be one), but I enjoy sex and I don't want it to change. It's part of my life and always has been. Besides chocolate eclairs and sav blanc on the balcony, it's a favourite part of my personal life.

So if you have had a hysterectomy to remove fibroids (the one where they leave your ovaries) or if you know of someone that has, please let me know if it has changed your life in any way. I'm due to give the doc an answer next week and I want to weigh up my options (not there are many).

And apologies to those that just cruised over here for some light entertainment. Sorry to disappoint and pour my guts out - so to speak!