My To Do List from The Couch

whataracquet.com.au

I don’t know why it takes me so long to actually open up a page and write, my procrastination skills are limitless.

I now have plenty of distractions to keep me from putting words on paper screen:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Hotmail
• online shopping
• countless blogs to follow (which may be putting me off writing sometimes as I’m more entertained by what they say than anything I can say)
• commenting on countless blogs; and
• entering as many relevant giveaways as I can (I’ll win an iPad by hook or by crook, ‘cause there is no way that my Christmas wish will come true in the next 5-10 years according to Mr Moneymaker)

 

It’s not like I don’t have time now. I’m laid up on the couch most days waiting for the huge wound on my abdomen to heal. It seems they took out my stomach muscles (not that they were a major part of my physique before) along with my retired womb last week.

 

I have in front of me a To Do List while I’m in recovery. It includes:

• Organise Nugget’s party this Friday (95% done) 
• Make Mr Moneymaker’s 40th Birthday invitations (anyone with a flair for 70’s movies design?)
• Shop online for family and friends for Christmas
• Makeover plain and boring “Birdy Num Num” blog (first work out how to do this)
• Investigate how to actually use personal domain name that was bought 30th April 2011.

 [As I was making that last point I delved into emails to find the date I bought the domain name and got caught by the Distraction Devil again (maybe I should buy the groceries here, would save the Moneymaker some time) – and got notified of another virus to clean off! At least I found the bug planted into my Nugget’s folder – I knew it was from one of his games!]

ANYWAY!!!

 

I should be blogging about how this hysterectomy has made me feel 7 days on (well, relieved mostly!) and how useless I’m feeling this week while the Moneymaker has to do all the running around with the kids (school, soccer, shops, Miss Chicken’s busy social life). Next week I should be able to do some light housework (yay … not) and a some cooking (YAY for real – cannot handle sandwiches and takeaway much longer).

 

I rediscovered daytime TV and as long as there is Ellen (how cute/funny is that little English girl Sophia and her Hype girl, Rosie - watch this) and The Circle (Yumi actually read out my email and my name this morning – closest to fame I am likely to get), I can survive the other stuff (when are they going to realise the girl presenting the Aaaah Bra has the WORST Kiwi accent ever heard?).

Well, I’ve got till 28th November to get into finish that To Do List, so if you have any advice for me, please let me know! And homemade meals left at the door are always welcome ;)

Writing Dreams

Dream Writing


Everybody has dreams. Not only those weird disjointed stories that go on in our head when we sleep, but dreams where we envision ourselves at a certain place, doing a certain thing. Sometimes we have enough passion and drive to achieve our dreams and sometimes we want to keep it just.a.dream.

Brady-Kowalski

I've always had a dream of being a writer. Now I think I have worked out why I just didn't dig up that passion and drive and put my head down and arse up (so to speak!). I was scared of failure. I thought, what if I put all this effort and time into a fancy dream of writing and publishing a book, put my career (ha!) on hold and neglected my family and then FAILED! Or more honestly, what if someone told me it was rubbish, I'm wasting my time. What if all those courses I took and how-to books I've read didn't give me the knowledge I needed, what if all the feedback I've been given by teachers, family and friends were just compliments to save my feelings.

What if I found out I just can't write?

My whole life I've been telling people I write, not that I'm a writer, that I write. What if that was just all folly (yes, that is an old fashioned word, but I like it, ok?)?

I know this has to come down to just a case of low self esteem and the fact there was not much encouragement in my childhood and active discouragement in my young adult life, but now I have no excuse, I'm 45 for god's sake!

So here I am in 2011 and I've been claiming "to write" for 33 years and rather than having my fourth book's advance cheque in my hand, I've struggled to finish off anything to the perfect sample of creative story telling I've strived for.

I have journals of my life tucked away everywhere and I'm sure there are some great stories in there I could pull out for my blog posts (like the time I lived in a tent for 6 months out in the sticks, ran out of money, mad drunk ex-husband with a .22 rifle, porridge everyday for dinner, starved till we shot one rabbit and cooked it but gave it to the dog as we weren't sure if it had myxomatosis - but that's another story....).

In fact, this blog has had me writing more often than in the last twenty years! Ding! Light bulb moment! [I'm a bit slow, I know.]

I'll just put it in this blog.

OMG! That just scared the shit out of me, that means that "people" are going to read it!!! And comment on it!! And they might be honest!!!

And even more frightening, my family might read it and find out what's going on in my head, and then I'll start censoring it so I won't offend anybody, like I did when I knew my husband started reading my diary of our life together because "it made him happy".

Oh bugger it, bugger everyone, I'll write whatever the hell I want to!!! Yeah right.

OK, so tell me if you write with trepidation or have written something, published it and then totally panicked when you realised people might read it! This has been a Twitter conversation I've been voyeuring between Kerri Sackville and Kylie Ladd and would love to know what other writers feel, are they just as scared?

Masters in Proctrastination

Does anyone else have this problem – I set aside “special time alone” (usually at 10.30pm when everyone in the house is asleep) to write a post. But first I need to do a little research (blogs, Facebook, Twitter). Then I realise it’s almost midnight and I haven’t written one feck’n word!

I’ve become a slave to social media! It’s probably a healthy dose of procrastination (I do have a masters in that) but I’m so addicted to Twitter and Facebook that …… sorry, just did it again! Back now.

.... [sound of clock ticking, view of calendar pages flying off]

OK, where did that week go. I’ll either need to give up work or sleep or my family to give this blog a red hot poker go. I’m setting myself a deadline – write a post about mothers by 11pm tomorrow night or I will have to stop following all the lovely blogs piling into my inbox and tweeting at me. Maybe the first step is to find time to read “Planning With Kids” by Nicole Avery (http://planningwithkids.com/book/) first. It did arrive over 2 weeks ago!

How do you fit in time just for you during the week, or is Mothers Day the only day we supposedly get off?