When a vision becomes reality

I'm not a complete sceptic when it comes to positive affirmations and visualisation, but I do believe in thinking positively with most things.  It was only the other day that I realised I had actually visualised a life for myself almost 20 years ago that is now true.  Whether it was coincidence, an accident or good planning, it came to me while walking around the bay on Sunday that while sleeping on my couch in 1996 and after being mighty disappointed that I hadn't been able to see Crowded House perform for the last time on the Opera House steps, I had what I thought was a vision but may have just been wishful thinking.

I had imagined myself divorced from The Plumber, sitting in a lovely, big house looking out on the water, having two kids (specifically a girl and a boy) and being in a happy relationship.

At the time it had been a bit of a pipe dream. Firstly, I had been with The Plumber since I was 16 (I was 30 in 1996). Secondly I had tried to leave three times in the last five years. Don't ask me why I didn't make it permanent, I can only say it was a combination of a lack of confidence and fear of the consequences.  Thirdly, I was flat broke - most of our money went on the rent and some very stupid personal loans, along with an obsession with horse riding, breeding large dogs and an alcoholic husband who was mostly unemployed. We had been surviving on $30 a week for some time.  Fourthly, the possibility of having children was already a lost cause as we had been trying to get pregnant for about five years.  And I had got used to the idea. In fact I thought it was probably a good thing as The Plumber wasn't exactly father-material and I had realised I had only thought I wanted to have a baby so I could love something other than the four-legged creatures in the house.

Therefore the dream/vision was pretty unattainable to me at that time.  But it was such a strong picture in the depths of a very depressing time, that I've remembered it perfectly. And with all the things that's happened in my life since - divorce, marriage, kids, buying homes, travel, happiness - I've only realised recently that the vision I had on that old couch in a miserable rented house in 1996, has become my reality.

Visualisation seems like it might be a real thing! Unfortunately I haven't seen Crowded House since.

(Don't Dream It's Over - my little Neil xx)

*Joining Essentially Jess for #IBOT*

George Clooney is talking to me through the TV

My usual exciting Friday night has just been enlightened by George Clooney.

[source here]

Here I am in my bed (by myself) cruising the Twitterworld and the Facebookworld and the Bloggersphere, having a little vino and a choccy Freddo, when George Clooney keeps demanding my attention.  He's in a movie that I haven't actually ever seen before called "Up In The Air".  It's about an executive who travels around the country firing employees. He is an expert at this horrible job and actually revels in it.

While he is training a young woman, one of the middle aged men he has sacked has his rejected attitude turned around when George has responded to his photos of his children with the following:

Sacked Man: "What am I going to tell them?"
George: "Do you know why kids admire sports stars?"
Sacked Man: "Because they date hot models?"
George: "No, that's why we admire them. They look up to them because they have lived their dreams."

There is some thoughtful time here then George goes on to say that he's noticed the man had on his resume that he majored in French cuisine. He asks him how much this company paid him on his first job to give up his dream.

That dim little bulb in my head lit up.  I've almost always been employed for the last thirty years as a secretary or something similar.  At 15, in Year 10 (or 4th Form as it was called then), my dream was to become a journalist, travel the world and write the 'Great Australian Novel'.

But the temptation of earning a wage at 16 beat the reality of achieving my dream which involved more time at school and years of study.  The truth was I was lazy.  I have no right to complain or blame it on anyone else, I gave up on my dreams for the smell of a $100 a week wage to buy me clothes and Southern Comfort.

But George made it clear it's never too late to try.