My Blog Story

I discovered the world of bloggers through a course I did at work two years ago. But I didn't get into my own personal blog until late last year. I needed to reach out to other likeminded people when I found myself without a regular friend to talk to after several changes in my life.

Firstly, we sold our snuggly old house in our snuggly old street where I had several neighbours who became friends and lifelines. Our kids played together in the street and ran through each other's houses, we babysat for each other and we borrowed cans of tomatoes, coconut milk and cloves of garlic. We popped up the shops for each other when we couldn't get away from the kids. We all shared pizzas and wine on our verandah on Saturday afternoons. Nobody knows each other in this street and though I made an attempt there was nothing in common with my new neighbours.

As we moved house, our children also changed schools, one to a new primary and one started high school. That was a whole new circle of mums and dads to get to know and a whole lot of new names that I will never remember (one of my brain deficiencies, forgetting names!). It was even a new soccer team for our son.

On top of all that my best friend moved to Melbourne along with her two children who had grown up with my two like brothers and sisters. It's not the same sitting on the balcony alone with a glass of wine without her and I haven't been out dancing at a pub in ages.

So I spend alot of time on couch with my laptop reading about and commenting on a whole other world of friends and opinions and problems and happenings. I laugh occassionally and feel a little sad for some and there is even the long comfortable silences similar to when my best friend and I just sat and shared a drink without having to say anything. It doesn't compare to the real thing, but blogging will fill in for me until I can catch up with live human beings again. At least I'm not drinking alone.

p.s. the next time will be in 3 weeks when she comes to stay for the school holidays - a house full of kids will definitely see us out on the balcony solving world problems over sav blanc!

Home Alone (except for one happy dog)

I don’t think I have ever spent so long by myself EVER! So it’s only the second night but it’s been a very long day. I think if I was to ever live alone I would go ABSOLUTELY STARK RAVING MAD!!!

My dog is the only thing keeping me sane. Well him and also the TV, the internet and my phone. But if I was left alone in a cave I would have lost it. Well I probably would have starved to death first as I really can’t be bothered cooking when its only me. I had some Thai last night, a lovely pesto pasta for lunch and a beef casserole and mashed potato tonight, all thanks to Norton St. Why dirty that freshly cleaned kitchen when there are so many great cooks in the Inner West? So I might run out of cash before the money maker comes back but I’ll be well fed.

The reason I’m doing as I please (4 hours uninterrupted online!) is that my little Nugget and his Dad are in Canberra at a soccer tournament (his under 10’s team has beaten all 4 opponents so far – my very own miniature Beckham). Also 12 yr old daughter Chicken is visiting our friends in Melbourne.

This time has me realising that I’m really good at telling everybody in the house what to do but I couldn’t even motivate myself to have a shower today – and its so cold!!! If I lived alone I would turn into one big, daggy, smelly mess.

I do start to think of things I can improve around the house though. I even bought and dyed some dining chair covers today! Tomorrow is Chicken’s desk makeover. And I have a lunch date with some old work mates, which is a lifesaver, as I am a social animal.

I’ve discovered my social circle has shrunk somewhat. It’s the result of moving to this lovely new house 6 months ago – my best friend moved to Melbourne, my kids changed schools and I moved away from my lovely neighbours. No more emergency calls for a can of tomatoes, no more impromptu vino’s on the front verandah, no more community babysitting.

The neighbours here are not my people. One side is a middle aged bachelor with a cab driver for a boarder, the other side is a middle aged couple who are – well – strange. They’re perfectly nice but we have nothing in common – they DON’T DRINK! Horrors! They’re Hillsongers and she gardens in an apron.

Am I being too fussy? No! Where’s my tribe? Why is it so hard to find new friends at 45?

If it wasn’t for the blog world, I would have joined the P&C, a book club and signed up for Italian cooking classes – god forbid!

I guess no social life is saving my liver. As a result of my late mother’s alcohol dependence, I cannot happily drink alone. Some little part of me thinks I will still turn into her, and another little part wants to. So I compromise and only drink after Thursdays, or when visitors come, or when I need cheering up, or if its been a particularly hard day.

But what I really want to do is go out to some comfy pub or buzzy restaurant with friends and talk shit all night. Its not the same on Twitter or Facebook (OK I did end up chatting online to my sister till midnight last night, but there was no alcohol involved, well not on this side of the Blue Mountains anyway). In fact I wouldn’t be so bereft if my sisters lived closer than a half day journey.

How do you make new friends as an adult?