Thursday, June 9, 2011

Don’t-do-as-I-do, do-as-I-say Parenting

I don’t think I’m the only one who parents by instruction much more frequently than by example. Meaning I TELL my kids how they should behave a hell of a lot more than I SHOW them. I’m great with advice on how they should conduct themselves in public but I don’t tell them of my past exploits and shady behaviour “when I was young” (OK there was that girls weekend last month, but what happens on tour stays on tour!).

We all want our children to become the perfect people we could never be and take advantage of the opportunities we work hard to have available to them.

For example, my husband spends a fair amount of his time watching his son play soccer and will take him to any training or any game anywhere at anytime – he LOVES it! He has told me there is nothing he would rather do than watch his little man do his magic on the field – yes I get a little miffed that hubby would rather do that than stare adoringly into my eyes but it’s better than drinking with mates in the pub, eh? He even took up soccer so he could practice with the little Nugget (and I won’t even mention the MANY injuries his old, untrained body endured since).

Some of this dedication is due to the fact that his parents never watched him play rugby league, even when he was playing state rep games. Nugget has sometimes brought us undone when he asks if Nanny and Poppy can come watch – we cover for them and tell him white lies so he doesn’t think badly of them, but what grandparent would not want to watch their 8 year old grandson bend it like Beckham on Saturdays??? Even I love watching both my children play on a freezing morning and I don’t even like sport (what's with all the whistles in netball??)!

My point is, what we lack in our childhood, we try to make up with our kids, whether its a secure home, good education, good food or great opportunities to experience in life (yes, my childhood pretty much lacked these things, but that’s another story/post). And we make sure we never never never tell them what we did as a teenager.

So what have you made up for with your kids that you never had as a child?

1 comment:

  1. Children just copy models their parents show. :) We parents should be like instructors to the kids, not emperors. If you give your children freedom and tell them what will be the consequences if they fail, and repeat them these consequences these kids will put their own reasonable boundaries. :) and at some point, do tell them what you did as a teenager :).


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